This is the newest thing said around our dinner table by our 3 year old. Christy tells him it's "potty talk" and that if he wants to talk like that he can go into the bathroom. He knows it's something that he shouldn't say yet he continues to ask almost every night at the dinner table, " Cut your butt off is potty talk huh mommy?" After which she politely says "yes, that's potty talk" and he'll ask one more time.
I let little things like this get to me more than I should. I feel like he knows not to say it but likes to see that he can get away saying it by posing a question. Christy washed his mouth out with soap the other day for saying he wanted to kill his little brother. Kids shouldn't be saying these things. They are sweet and innocent! And should always be that way.
Carter used to go around singing "dangit" because Christy told me to not make a big deal out of it after I already had a time or two. He used to sing it to get a rise out of me. For those of you unfamiliar with this song, it's really easy to learn. It goes something like this, "dangit dangit dangit, dangit dangit dangit, dangit dangit dangit, (then the chorus, which is the same. Sometimes there is variation with a dramatic pause and a look at me to see how he is performing, then the smug smile as he continues his singing) " The kid sure knows how to push my buttons, or better said, I sure know how to let him push my buttons.
I go into his room at the end of the day when he is in a deep sleep and I stroke his hair and tell him I love him. I am too hard on him too often. I haven't quite learned what battles to surrender or which ones to wage. It's a hard balance to know when to react and dish out punishment or when to let things go.
I guess as Christy has pointed out, there will be far worse things he could say and will learn someday, and to let him know we don't approve of it but not to come down hard on him. I guess in high school if he is still only saying "I'm going to cut your butt off!", then he's doing pretty well dangit!
Monday, November 12, 2007
I'm going to cut your butt off
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4 comments:
I think it was Alisa and I talking about how sometimes we expect them to be perfect. The other day I was thinking how I would feel if someone got after me for every little thing I did wrong. I'd feel pretty cruddy. I think there is that fine balance between discipline and over-bearing.
And I am still learning that fine balance. I worry that by the time I do learn it, my kids will be grown and out of the house.
Great write-up Brady. I got your blog address from Steph's new blog.
So, do you want my parenting advice? My dad had kind of a short fuse. It used to make me feel pretty crappy when he chewed me out. Back in those days I told myself not to forget how it feels when you are a kid and you get punished. It has worked and hasn't worked. I probably let too many things slide, and then when I act, I probably act too strongly. But I try to get Reagan to stop doing stuff by threatening her. "If you don't stop that I am going to come over there and tickle the snot out of you.." Right now she has a cold, so it doesn't take much to accomplish that.
Thanks for the advice. I know from reading the book your dad wrote about Grandpa, that either his dad or grandfather had a temper. I would say that I think it runs in the family, but I think a more accurate statement would be that it runs in the natural man. I really liked Pres Hinkley's last priesthood talk on being slow to anger, it hit my natural man hard. It's funny that you mention your dad as having a short fuse because I only know him as "Uncle John" who always seemed in control. We are all human I suppose.
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